Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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