i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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