your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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