i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
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could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
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Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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