I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Terrible idea I love it
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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