even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
