We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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