All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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