his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
