if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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