NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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