That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
