hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
