all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
