I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He kissed a someone with a penis
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
