He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize