I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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