Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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