Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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