She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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