Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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