Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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