Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
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i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
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I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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