my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
