Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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