I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
