I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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