can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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