thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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