The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
