she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Congratulations! We have a period
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