Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
