I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.