Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.