okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.