is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
