So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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