i dont even know how to be here
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
