Ambien. No doubt about it.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
