Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Terrible idea I love it
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
