I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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