i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
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No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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