actually, I'm a sock model
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize