I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
