ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
