all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
