I want to make a zoo with you.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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