The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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