Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize