Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So squirting runs in the family.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
