Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
