People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
