Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
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Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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