I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
