Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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