Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
