It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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