so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Text me some of your sweat
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